David, 42-year-old Spaniard

Revolted by people biting towels

Freaking David Gil right out is as easy as picking up an ordinary bath towel and casually chewing or sucking on it. Who knows why anyone would even want to do that, but David reckons it happens far too frequently and – in his opinion, at least – it’s the most horrible thing on the planet.

“It doesn’t even really need to be face-to-face. Even just seeing it on a movie makes me cringe,” David, 42, says. “I guess it’s something that kids often do … although I reckon I would be all right with a baby doing it. But from a certain age, absolutely not. Maybe it’s because babies don’t have any teeth?”

David’s banned his own little girl from putting towels anywhere near her mouth, though he insists she’d never be able to handle the sensation anyway, because “she has my genes” after all.

“It doesn’t even really need to be face-to-face. Even just seeing it on a movie makes me cringe.”

Would he go so far as to wack the towel out of someone’s mouth to stop the horror? “Yeah, and suffocate them with the towel. How aggressive! Of course not,” he says, laughing. “I don’t hold any kind of ill will against the person who’s sucking the towel. It’s not like I hold a grudge against them for the rest of their life, take a photo, add it to my wall of faces at home and some day I’m going to smash them all. My reaction is basically just goose bumps.”

Actually, it’s not only towels. David’s weirded out by people biting anything that kind of resembles towel material. “Well, yeah, towels are the most obvious but if someone bites a certain type of material … I don’t know how to explain it. Like, say, a jacket. If it’s made out of that bathrobe material, yes. But if you bite a denim jacket, no. It’s something to do with that type of material. It just not pleasant putting that in your mouth!”

Adds a bystander, listening in to the interview from the café David owns and runs in Spain: “Your clients are going to start coming here with towels in their mouths.” David can’t even bring himself to respond to such an awful idea.

+ + +